Lord of the Miserables
by Horsesrule
Summary: A Les Mis strictly book Lord of the Rings crossover


Lord of the Misérables

In the year 1419 Shire Reckoning Gandalf Greyhame-Mithrandir was wizard of the S—. Even though this has nothing to do with the story, I will tell much about Gandalf, for this is history. Gandalf was very kind and compassionate. He would not step on a hobbit. "They can't help being hobbits," he said.

One October day a hobbit dressed in rough clothes was walking down the East Road. He was wearing a pack on his back and had walked all day and was very tired. He went to the Prancing Pony Inn and said "I want food and a room. I have money."

"We will never turn down someone who has money," said mine host Barliman Butterbur. The hobbit took off his pack and sat down next to the fire. Someone brought a note to Butterbur, who read it. Butterbur suddenly turned to the hobbit. "Get out," he said.

"But I will pay."

"Get out. Your name is Frodo Valgins."

Slowly he put his pack back on and went out. Everyone else in the town refused to let him stay there, even at the lockholes. Finally he knocked on the wizard's door.

"My name is Frodo Valgins. I am a convict. I have been in the galleys 19 years."

"You are welcome here, my brother," said the wizard. He gave him supper and a place to sleep.

At midnight Frodo Valgins rose. It was the comfortable bed that woke him. He had not slept on a bed in nineteen years. He got up and tiptoed to the wizard's cabinet, took out his silver plates, put them in his pack, and fled. The next morning the Shirrifs caught him and brought him back to the wizard.  
Gandalf told the Shirrifs that Frodo Valgins had not stolen the silver, but that he had given it to him. "But you forgot the silver spoons," said Gandalf. "Here, take them too." The Shirrifs were satisfied and left. "Frodo Valgins, my brother," said Gandalf, "I am buying your soul. You no longer belong to evil but to good. Take the silver and use it for good."

Frodo Valgins left the wizard's house and went to M—sur—M. There he changed his name and became successful. But one man there still didn't trust him, and that was Javertical, one of the police. One day in the town an old man named Faulchelevaunt was trapped beneath his cart. Since no one else would, Frodo Valgins used his strong muscles to lift the cart off Fauchelevaunt. "Hmm," thought Javertical to himself. "I've only ever know one man strong enough to do what that man just did, and he was a convict."

A woman who worked at the factory, Fantine, became sick. She asked Frodo Valgins to go get her child who worked as a slave for Thénardier the innkeeper. Javertical found out that Frodo Valgins was a convict, and he arrested him. Fantine thought Javertical was coming for her and died of shock.

Frodo Valgins escaped and adopted Fantine's daughter, Cosette. They went to live in a house. There a young man named Marius noticed Cosette and they fell in love. But a poor girl named Eponine, who had known Cosette when they were children, also loved Marius. He didn't even seem to notice Eponine because he was so wrapped up with Cosette. Frodo Valgins became jealous of Marius because he loved her so much and he started to hate him. Cosette and Marius met secretly without Frodo Valgins knowing. Marius got Eponine to run letters back and forth between him and Cosette.

Meanwhile, the revolution was beginning. The man at the fore of the movement was a radical named Enjolras. He led a group of revolutionary students who called themselves the Friends of the Shire. The riot broke out on June 5th, 1832. Marius had become involved in the movement and joined them at the barricades.

"Monsieur Marius," said a voice at his feet. "I've been shot." It was Eponine. She had thrown herself in front of a bullet aimed at him and was wounded. "Oh," said Marius, who never was the brightest crayon in the box. "You know, Marius, I think I was a little bit in love with you," she said and promptly died. "That's the understatement of the year," shouted Enjolras from the top of the barricade. Marius searched in her pockets until he found a letter of his. then he went back to fight some more.

Javertical was captured by the students and bound. They were going to execute him. Frodo Valgins had entered the fray under a different identity. He asked to be allowed to dispose of Javertical. Taking him out back, he shocked Javertical by saying "I'm not going to shoot you. Go, you're free."

"You annoy me. Kill me rather," said Javertical.

"I live under the table," said Frodo Valgins. "You remember that when you come to arrest me."

"Got it," muttered Javertical bitterly. He straightened up, gripped his beating stick tightly, and hurried off.


End file.
